British English vs. Malaysian English

Who says our English is teruk? Just read below - Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-the-point, effective etc.
 

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons : I'm sorry, sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.

Malaysians : No stock.

RETURNING A CALL 
Britons : Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone call for me a few moments ago?

Malaysians : Hello, who call?


ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY 
Britons : Excuse me, I would like to get by. Would you please make way?

Malaysians : S-kew me.

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY 
Britons : Hey! Put your wallet away, this drink is on me.

Malaysians : No need lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION 
Britons : Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?

Malaysians : (pointing at the door) Can ah?


WHEN ENTERTAINING 
Britons : Please make yourself right at home.

Malaysians : No need shy shy one lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE 
Britons : I don't recall you giving me the money.

Malaysians : Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER 
Britons : I would prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.

Malaysians : Don't want lah. 


IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION 
Britons : Err...Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue. 

Malaysians : You mad ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE. 
Britons : Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice? I'm trying to concentrate over here.

Malaysians : Shut up lah! 

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.. 
Britons : Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for sometime. Do I know you?

Malaysians : See what, see what?


WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION . 
Britons : We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment..

Malaysians : Die lah!!


WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED 
Britons : Will someone tell me what has just happened? 

Malaysians : What happened ah? Why like that one lah?

WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG 
Britons : This isn't the way to do it. Here, let me show you.

Malaysians : Like that also don't know how to do!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY 
Britons : Would you mind not disturbing me?

Malaysians : Celaka you!
 
 

So which would you prefer? Send this to your Malaysian friends and let them have a laugh too. Good day!